Point Counterpoint: Lesser Healing Wave vs. Healing Wave

Lesser Healing Wave is Superior,
by Lesser Healing Wave

Hi, I'm Lesser Healing Wave, the spell you've been using since you were level 20. Remember getting overwhelmed by mobs and needing a quick heal to save your life? I do, and I think his name was Lesser Healing Wave! Once you saw how effective in combat I could be, you moved me to your cast bar and sent Healing Wave packing.

Despite saving your life multiple times on the way to 80 (you're welcome), I want to talk to you today about two important things: First, why I am the best raid heal ever. Second, how Healing Wave is a mana-guzzling, overhealing whore.

Did you know I even have my own major glyph? I do, it's awesome, and it means you can answer 'YES' when someone asks you if you can tank heal.

Look at my cast time! 1.5 seconds. It took you longer to read this sentence, than to cast me, and that's why I am awesome. Big burst (read:fast) damage requires responsive heals, and it doesn't get much faster than me. If you cast Healing Wave exclusively, there's a good chance by the time the heal hits the tank, he's already face down.

Then you're using Ancestral Awakening, which we might as well rename 'Healing Wave Fail'.

Once you've got me glyphed, a tank protected by Earth Shield gets an additional 25% healing, on top of the 25% increase in crit from Tidal Waves. Altogether, you're getting more healing and less overhealing, because you’re tossing out responsive, critical heals on the tank and can switch targets if you max out their life bar.

Just like Enhancement Shaman prefer two weapons instead of one, it's preferable to cast two heals in the time it takes to cast one because of Ancestral Awakening. When we crit, which is a lot, Ancestral Awakening seeks out the player with the lowest health and places a hot on him. It's two heals for the price of one!

I know Healing Wave is going to blather on about efficiency, but try this experiment: drop your raiding totems and see how long you can cast Healing Wave before you're out of mana. Faster than you can say 'Promised Pony' you're hitting the mana bottle, and that's just no way to live your life. Now try it with me, Lesser Healing Wave. See, you can cast me all night.

Bigger isn't always better, so when you're raiding, use the best tool in your belt: Lesser Healing Wave

There is a Reason its called Lesser,

by Healing Wave.

When I'm done with this post, I'm going to track down that treacherous little spell-troll and use my giant green hand to slap the taste from his little bitch mouth. How dare that underpowered excuse for a heal come on here and slander the good name of Healing Wave.

Friends, Healing Wave the Lesser is like an enthusiastic poodle yipping at the heels of a Worgen; he’s just not big enough to get the job done. I had a higher base heal than his max rank back when you were level 60! The best he can do at 80 is exactly what I could do for you two expansions ago.

I have a major glyph too. It stinks, never use it outside of PvP.

Anyway, I have been with you from Level 1, consistently providing you with enough healing to get the job done right. That mana-stealing parasite sacrifices raw power for speed and inefficiency. Just like it's not cheaper to buy Stormstout by the mug than by the keg, it is not more efficient to cast Lesser Healing Wave than Healing Wave.

I am the keg of heals.

My full name is 'Greater Healing Wave the XIV', but I shortened it to 'Healing Wave' because being called 'Greater' is a bit pretentious...but the fact remains that if you need a big heal to save the life of the tank, I'm your prime time player. When Tidal Waves are rolling, my cast time drops to 2.10 seconds, only .60 slower than Healing Wave the Lesser. Yet when I hit, I easily triple up a lesser healing wave. Do the math: 40% slower yet 300% better.

That two-bit spell mentioned Ancestral Awakening, but AA heals a percentage of the original heal, so it actually means something when it comes from me. If you can't compete with a max rank Lifeblood, it's time to hang it up. (LHW, ahem)

If you want to be considered a big boy healer, you need to use a big boy spell. LHW is the catapult to my Siege, the Anduin to my Varian, the Fizzlebang to my Jaraxxus! Remember, when you’re in Icecrown and don’t want to kill your tank, cast Healing Wave, for the win.

So readers, what do YOU think? Who makes the better point? Lesser Healing Wave or Healing Wave?

DKP: Bad Idea or Worse Idea

Bob Slydell: What if - and believe me this is a hypothetical - but what if you were offered some kind of a stock option equity sharing program. Would that do anything for you?
Peter Gibbons: I don't know, I guess. Listen, I'm gonna go. It's been really nice talking to both of you guys.

I'm just going to put this on Front Street, and you can think about the merits of this on your own.

DKP, is the dumbest invention in the history of MMOs. And if not the dumbest, one of the most outdated, outmoded and ass-backwards motivational systems that encourages the extremes, and demotivates the middle.

Background: I'm a Finance graduate from Penn State, who is 3 credits away from a dual-degree in Management. Management classes, by the way, are simply a study in motivation and getting people to act on your behalf, while thinking it was their idea.

World of Warcraft understands motivation better than Las Vegas, because every single piece of activity since Activision consumed Blizzard has been dedicated to putting more and more carrots, for the donkeys in-game to chase. And chase them you do...

Exhibit A: Achievements. Blizzard found a way to make you waste your time in incredible amounts, for a title, a tabard, a mount, or most likely, nothing.

Somewhere out there is a mysterious X, where X is the amount of time it takes to get fully geared: T10, 264 weapons, etc. Once you spend 'X' you no longer need to play the game; you can subscribe to another MMO, go outside (ha!), or build up your Modern Warfare character.

X + Y + Z + A + B + C + D + E + F + G = H

Y=Time required for Explorer Title
Z=Time required for Glory of the Raider Title
A=Time required for Calling the Cavalry Title
B=Time required for Insanity Title
C=Time required for Crusader Title
D=...and so on.

H by the way, is the NEW time it takes to complete everything before you leave the game, and now H is much, much larger than X because of all the bullshit people do in the meantime.

Exibit B: Badges.

Here's the "I don't give that much of a shit to research it properly" definition of DKP: In Everquest some guild named Afterlife (Follwing the meme of overly dramatic one-word guild names) developed DKP to rewards the asshats who showed up, rather than give out loot to people who just stumbled in. This, in turn, was supposed to promote all the behaviors they wanted (attendance) and discourage all the behavior they don't want (for example, falling into whelps).

Really? We're using an 11-year old incentive system developed for a game that didn't hand out Epic gear like M&Ms at Halloween, and was a ballbreaker to boot? Are you fucking insane?

Why not develop a system in tune with the state of the game today? Oh yeah right; not a lot of Management majors playing Warcraft.

DKP doesn't do anything that a boss dying doesn't accomplish, other than frustrate the people at the bottom, and disincentivize the people in the middle, which are precisely the people you want to motivate to come back.

Let's imagine what goes on in the head of 3 raiders...one with 60 DKP, one with 10 DKP and one with -15 DKP.

60 DKP: I can't wait to raid tonight because if something awesome drops, it's mine!
10 DKP: Well, another night of grinding to build up some more DKP. I hope the asshole with 60 DKP actually bids on something tonight, because he's got a shit ton more than me, and we both want the same trinket.
-15 DKP: I am going to bid on everything that shows up, and hope something falls to me. Of course, I'll go deeper in the hole, but that's ok because if I get a few more loot upgrades, I can transfer to a guild where I can free roll.

So the only people excited about this system are the people at the top, but there can never be more than a couple people at the top. Plus, with the introduction of crafted items and high level BoEs, some of the richer characters will supplement their toon with items they buy, making them much more likely to gear up and tune out than someone else.

Plus, do you really want to introduce the concept of buyer's regret into WoW? What if a guy spends his DKP on tier legs, and then they show up in VoA? Now he's pissed that he spent all those weeks on an item he could've had for free.

If he just rolled on them during the run, he's probably not going to keel over and die if they drop, and he's probably not going to be able to remember all the other things he had to pass on thanks to winning the Tier piece.

"But the system encourages people to show up..."

No asshole, loot encourages people to show up. If you don't believe me, announce you're holding a raid where you will not loot the boss at all, and nobody will get badges or loot. You're just going in to 'have fun' and 'hang out with friends'.

See how many people show up. Then announce that is going to be your policy one out of every four weeks, and see how many people leave the guild.

The 'friendships' that exist are all based around the glue that is progress, and in a game that caps your progess at level 80, progress comes from loot. People will continue to be a part of a system they think is fair, as long as they think nobody else is fucking with the system too.

What is the best system? Loot count, with bonus points.

Loot count, for those who don't know (and how you wouldn't know I have no idea) is the system where you roll on things you can use main set, and if you've already won something in that week's run, someone who has won LESS than you automatically gets priority.

This prevents one douche from cleaning up all the items with a stellar week of rolls. It keeps everyone in the guild at roughly the same level of gear, and incentivizes everyone to show up because your chance of winning SOMETHING is more equitable than the chance of winning A LOT or NOTHING.

Free Roll:

Person A: Wins a lot of shit. He's happy.
Person B: Wins nothing. He's pissed at Person A.
Person C: Won one thing. He's happy.
Person C: Didn't see any upgrades. Neutral.

Loot Count:

Person A: Won an item, and lost a roll to B because he already won a piece of gear.
Person B: Also won an item, thanks to person A getting passed over.
Person C: Won nothing. Is pissed at God & Blizzard for shitty item drop rates, random number generators, and being cursed.
Person D: Didn't see any upgrades. Neutral.

And I did mention bonus points. On your roll, you're permitted to add the following modifiers.

On time: +5
Food Buff: +5
Flasked: +10
On vent: +10
Melee rolling on ranged item: -40 (e.g. Warrior rolling on a gun)
Ranged rolling on melee item: -40 (e.g. Ranged rolling on an axe)
DPS less than tank: -20
Elemental Shaman: -50

...and so on. Go crazy. Give points to all the things you want your raiders to do, and take them away from the assholes who give you lip or make raiding hard.

You can encourage the behavior you're looking for IMMEDIATELY, and since nobody wants to be at a disadvantage on loot rolls, you will find that everyone flies right, and shows up to get every numeric advantage to all their rolls as possible.

I am a goddamned visionary. If I wasn't so lazy or didn't hate people so much, I'd start my own guild and see how it goes. I'd even call my guild 'Loot' just so there is no mistaking what it's all about.

In the Land of the Blind...

Why are there no Enhancement Shaman blogs? I've searched high and low for information or competitors to worry about, and there are still people with Tempest Keep strategies up on their site, back when Spirit Wolves were a gleam in an ambitious game designers eye and we actually wore leather to be competitive dps.

Really? No Enhancement blogs? Not a one?

Ten classes, three specs: Thirty total specs is a lot, although nobody is writing about Beast Mastery, and if they are they shouldn't be. We're actually an incredibly complex class statwise, which is probably why we don't have a dedicated blog other than the Elitist Jerks thread.

I mean, are we too busy running Rawr simulations to give a shit what is going on with the class? I've met some pretty stupid Shaman, I must admit, but do you mean to imply there's nobody out there than can form a couple coherent sentences on why Armor Penetration sucks, Elemental Shaman are pussies, Shock and Awe is the greatest addon ever, and being melee dps is harder than you fucking think?

No longer, baby. This will not stand.

Truthfully, i'm going to pen this for my own selfish, sinister purposes: track the evolution of the class, build up an impressive big-ass writing sample so I can sell out like some of the more popular blogs, relentlessly harass hunters and Elemental Shaman, and entertain your Stormstriking, Lava-Bursting, Feral Spiriting asses in between.

They say in the land of the blind, the man with one eye is king...
...all hail the motherfucking Cyclops!

More later...